Do you have or think you may have PTSD? May it’s someone you know. There are treatment options out there. Read more as I share part of my struggles and the option I took.
Diagnosed w/ PTSD
I recently was diagnosed with PTSD which was a mixture of shock, relief, and an aha! moment. I say this because although I was deployed to Iraq in 2008 an incident years prior to that is where the trauma began. It wasn’t in a war zone it was at my home base.Everything changed for me after that. I remembered just going to work saying “hello” doing my job and leaving. This was I felt, attributed to me being an introvert but others on the outside looking in saw something different. One of the things that stuck out (an aha! moment) was when I was constantly being pulled into my supervisor’s office being counseled on me being antisocial seriously and needing an outlet. Frustrating stuff. I didn’t see nothing wrong with what I was doing. I was doing my job, staying out trouble I mean…saying “hi” wasn’t enough what was the freaking issue?!!
Revelation of having PTSD
That may have been the norm for some but for me no. I did not see it. Easily irritated and paranoid I just didn’t see how it was affecting me and others. People were scared of me! When I went on leave they braced themselves for my return! In my mind I seriously thought I was pleasant looking back. Oblivious to what was happening it went untreated and with every new incident my wounds re-opened and became larger.
Not sure if things have changed on the active duty side (separated from the military 2010), but seeking mental health treatment was encouraged on the front end and discouraged behind the scenes I felt. The military would say help was available and it was confidential but I saw how it effected people’s career. I wanted to stay in the military I tried to keep my depression which I thought it was just that, concealed.
Remedy for PTSD
Fast forwarding to the present I am in counseling and I am in my 2nd of 12 session of Behavior Cognitive Therapy. I ended up here because I broke down to a complete stranger it was an out-of-body experience, I am NOT a cryer, and I am not the type of person that wants to bother others with my problems. I am the helper not the helpee (not a word, but it is today). I was so embarrassed but I am thankful. When I was diagnosed everything made so much sense but then I became sad, sad because I hurt some people (unintentionally) along the way. So I urge anyone that can relate even a little to seek help learn the symptoms of PTSD.